Self-Development: Growing Spiritually as a Person

Growth is a part of life. All living things need nourishment, and they use that nourishment to go through different stages of self-development until maturity. The same goes for us as humans. From when we are in our mother’s wombs, we need the nourishment our mothers provide, first through our umbilical cord, then via milk, and as we grow older we start eating solids, growing all the time until we reach adulthood.

Humans aren’t just physical beings, we grow in other areas as well, including emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Growing in all these areas helps us to become well-rounded human beings, and some of these don’t slow down when we attain maturity. One of the marks of maturity is understanding the need for continued growth.

One aspect of our humanity is our ability to connect with God and grow spiritually. A meaningful and robust spirituality means being able to discern our place in the universe and having the tools to handle the many ups and downs life hands us.

When we mature in Christ, we increasingly look more and more like him in every way. Spiritual growth is thus vital to our lives and understanding what God has called us to be.

How do you go about growing spiritually?

Setting goals

First, you need to set your goals, so that you know what you’re aiming for. One sure way to not achieve your goals is to not know what you’re trying to accomplish. Setting goals allows you to understand what you’re trying to achieve, to assess what you’ll need to achieve those goals and a way to know when you’ve accomplished them. Your goals should thus be clear, measurable, and attainable. We’ll speak a bit more later about “attainability” when it comes to spiritual goals.

When it comes to growing spiritually, there are several kinds of goals you can set for yourself. You can set goals to accomplish certain spiritual disciplines that will help you grow spiritually, or you can set goals that will help you measure your spiritual growth itself. The second kind is harder to quantify, but with sober judgment and the help of others, we can tell if we are making progress.

When we become more like Jesus, we become less selfish, more loving toward others. We know the different areas in which our lack of love and selfishness emerge. Paying close attention to ourselves – our actions, our thoughts, and attitudes – we can, for example, see if the same things that triggered us two years ago still bother us as much now, or if we are more able to take them in stride.

The first kind of goals are easier to set, but they have a certain nuance to them as well. You can decide to pray three times a day – that is a clear, very measurable, and very attainable goal. However, prayer is fundamentally about speaking with God; it’s about a relationship with God, and relationships are rich or impoverished based on the quality of those relationships, and not whether you’ve ticked certain boxes.

A husband can bring his wife a bouquet of flowers every week like clockwork, but it might be an empty gesture done from habit. The same husband can pick a wildflower for her on his way home, and that thoughtfulness can mean more for the relationship.

Spiritual goals are thus more like relationship goals, and less like goals where the metrics are paramount. The end goal of growing spiritually is deepening your relationship with God and becoming more and more like Jesus.

The spiritual disciplines outlined below are a means to that end, but not the goal itself. As you set those clear, measurable, and attainable goals, remember the heart of why you’re doing it, and keep your eyes fixed on the Goal – God.

Different areas to focus on

There are different areas and disciplines to focus on to grow spiritually. One reminder to hold tightly to is what Paul said to Christians in his letter:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

In other words, Paul’s encouragement is that we never truly arrive this side of heaven and must constantly strive forward because Christ is such a lofty goal. This is a good reminder for when we fall short, or even for when we achieve our goal and assume that we’ve arrived and no longer need to keep growing.

Scripture. Like food, we need to keep devouring Scripture to grow spiritually. Find yourself a Bible translation that reads well. You can choose to memorize passages of Scripture, do daily readings from both Testaments, go book by book reading a commentary alongside, following a reading plan that takes you through the Bible in a year, or so much else.

There are many ways to do it but start small and maintain a consistent pace. If you need to slow down to dig deeper in a particular passage, do so. Remember, while the goal is to read the Bible regularly, simply ticking the task as done isn’t the point. The deeper goal is to be learning about God, the world, and ourselves. Setting daily or weekly goals to read the Bible is preparing yourself up to be learning consistently.

Prayer. Praying is another spiritual discipline vital to our spiritual growth. You can choose to recite set prayers or say your own. Praying consistently helps us to relate to God as we would other people. Like our other ways of speaking with others, prayer takes on many registers of tone.

Some prayers make requests of God; others are of thanksgiving, while yet others are full of lament. Looking through the Psalms, we see prayers of all sorts modeled for us. You can challenge yourself not only to pray regularly but to pray different kinds of prayer, to pray for other people, situations, and countries beyond your personal circumstances.

Community. Our spiritual lives aren’t meant to be lived in isolation from others. The church, as flawed as it may be, is the space given to us by God within which to exercise our spiritual gifts and live life.

The Bible contains many “one another” statements, such as “love one another”, “forgive one another”, “show hospitality to one another”, or “outdo one another in showing honor.” All these commands are impossible to follow outside of a committed and regular fellowship with other believers.

Being involved with a community is thus a key ingredient to spiritual and personal growth. Find the community that’s right for you (with the knowledge that no community will be perfect and suit your needs just so) and get involved in the lives of the people within that community, allowing them to be involved in your life as well. Participation in their internal and external programs will also challenge and grow you spiritually.

Art and other spiritual disciplines. As we are wired differently, the things that speak to the deepest parts of us will vary. Some people are very visual, and so art (whether create it or taking it in) functions as a great way for them to engage spiritually.

Set aside time for it and commit to either creating or enjoying one piece a week. For others, music feeds their souls. For yet others they enjoy journaling, and that helps them process their thoughts and interactions with others.

Fasting (if your doctor gives you the green light) also helps many people to focus their attention on God, and Jesus did say it was a spiritual discipline his disciples would engage in after he left the earth and before his triumphant return. Engaging in these and many other spiritual disciplines consistently can help a person grow spiritually and they draw nearer to God and become more like Jesus.

Christian Counseling for Self-Development and Spiritual Growth

Becoming more and more like Jesus Christ is the ultimate goal for His followers. There are many ways for us to set smaller goals that put us on the path headed in that direction, including reading (or listening) to the Bible regularly, being in community, praying, and engaging in other spiritual disciplines.

Though we may never truly arrive this side of eternity, we nonetheless continue to strive toward that goal of becoming people who live and love like Jesus. Challenge yourself to take the first few steps toward that and stay on the journey!

One way you can grow spiritually and with regard to self-development is through Christian counseling. Feel free to call our office today to schedule an appointment with a professional Christian counselor in Vancouver.