What Makes a Codependent Narcissist Compulsively Lie?

It’s the most confusing and painful thing when someone you care about seems to be unable or incapable of telling the truth. You’re left always wondering why your loved one can’t be honest and what his or her motives are for deceiving you. It may amaze you to learn that this behavior has nothing to do with you at all, and they could be suffering from complicated psychological issues like being a codependent narcissist.

If it does turn out that your loved one is a codependent narcissist, it is important to realize that their behavior is not reflective of your worth or your relationship. On the contrary, this behavior reflects personal and deep-seated emotional problems.

At the heart of all compulsive lying is usually a desperate need to protect that person’s fragile self-esteem and to maintain the image that he or she wants the world to see. It does not mean that you have to shrug and excuse the lies, but rather that you understand how much emotional turmoil forces them to tell lies.

Understanding their struggles will make it easier to support your loved one while taking good care of your emotional well-being.

What is a codependent narcissist?

Codependent narcissism is a mental health ailment that combines two serious conditions: codependency and narcissism. So, on one hand, they have all the typical features of narcissism, like an inflated sense of pride and the constant need for admiration, while on the other hand, their codependency pushes them to excessively cling to others to feel complete and worthy.

In some cases, neglect or lack of care when they were younger may have led them to live a life of relentless seeking of favor and acceptance. Most of the people who suffer from this disorder are extremely terrified of abandonment and have an urgent need for other people’s attention.

This split in their thought processes leads to compulsive lying to maintain their image and hold onto the affection and support they desperately seek. The codependent narcissist will create a lot of fabricated, complex, and elaborate stories to maintain the facade they have created.

Examples of Compelling Lies of a Codependent Narcissist

• “I dated twenty girls in my college class. In fact, five of them proposed marriage, and ladies always beg me to stay with them.”
• “I single-handedly saved our company from bankruptcy last year. Everyone was so grateful to me.”
• “I have been through so much trauma, yet I never let that show. I survived three near-death experiences because I am so strong.”
• “I’m basically running the whole department. My boss relies on me for everything.”
• “I made some fantastic investments. People are always asking me for investment advice.”
• “I have this very rare condition that requires constant care, yet I never complain. I’m just that resilient.”
• “My family is so dysfunctional, but I’m the one holding everyone together.”
• “That project only turned out okay because I intervened. If it wasn’t for me, it would have been a failure.”

Such lies both elevate their self-image and secure the validation and support they crave from others. They reflect the complex interplay of needing to be seen as superior while also being deeply dependent on others for their sense of self-worth.

The Intersection of Codependency, Narcissism, and Mythomania

The relationship between codependency, narcissism, and mythomania is pretty complex and multilayered. Mythomania, or pathological lying, is a symptom that appears as a result of the interaction of these conditions. A compulsive need to lie could be explained by the fact that it is a coping mechanism resorted to by codependent narcissists to handle their internal conflicts and external relations.

These lies serve several purposes. First, they allow the individual to create a reality in which he or she is admired, respected, and loved; the perfect complement to their narcissistic desires. At the same time, lies protect their vulnerabilities and insecurities, further exaggerated by their codependent tendencies. In such a complex interplay, the individual becomes increasingly entangled in his or her fabrications, unable to distinguish reality from fiction.

Mythomania normally serves as a form of defense mechanism for the codependent narcissist. For example, a codependent narcissist might lie about their accomplishments to avoid feeling inferior or unworthy. They might fabricate stories about their relationships to elicit sympathy and support from others.

These lies are not simply to deceive others but also to protect themselves from their insecurities and fears. Supporting a family member or someone dear with such a complicated problem will need a ton of understanding and a huge dose of sympathy.

Compassionate Ways to Help Someone Who Lies

• As much as you should be supportive, it is not good to enable their lies or make excuses for them. Hold them accountable gently and understandingly.
• Set healthy limits and stick to them, and this will provide boundaries for them but also teach them about what is expected from them in the way of accountability.
• Always let them know that their real feelings and experiences are important to you. Encourage them to be open and honest without judgment.
• While it’s important to be supportive, avoid enabling their lies or making excuses for their behavior. Hold them accountable in a gentle and understanding manner.
• Give more attention and praise to positive behaviors or efforts toward being honest. Recognize and celebrate their efforts, no matter how small.
• Gently encourage them to reflect on their behavior and the reasons behind their lying. This could give them insight into their struggles and motivations.

Do not give up on a loved one who happens to be a codependent narcissist and one who compulsively lies. Although this behavior is really hard to deal with, even hurtful sometimes, understanding of psychological issues could raise empathy and compassion toward him.

You can try encouraging them to get professional help and support their process of recovery. Remember to always take care of your own emotional health and avoid enabling their toxic behaviors.

Professional therapy can be a powerful supportive structure for codependent narcissists to handle their compulsive lying and the psychological problems underneath. Therapists let them be in a comfortable, non-judgmental space where they can talk about feelings, insecurities, and even experiences. They will be able to notice certain patterns of behavior and teach methods of more constructive coping.

If you think someone you care deeply about may be struggling with codependent narcissism and compulsive lying, it can be really tough to handle. The constant dishonesty is exhausting, but there is light at the end of this tunnel.

First, never forget that their behavior isn’t about you but mostly comes from their deeper psychological issues rather than a lack of care for you. Accepting this is your first and most important step toward healing. You don’t have to go through this alone; professional help is available and can make a great difference.

You can find reputable, qualified counselors listed right here on this site. All you need to do is just call the numbers on the screen right now to get started. These professionals are ready to help you and your loved one figure out this challenging problem, providing the support and tools you need to build a healthier, more honest relationship.

Taking this step shows a lot of courage and can lead to a better future, not only for your relationship but for your own peace of mind and mental well-being, as well.

Being constantly lied to is not a healthy way to live. Help is available, and it’s just a phone call away. Contact our office today to learn more.