How to Handle Rejection Well as a Believer

Things don’t always go as planned, and in fact, they can go horribly wrong. One way things can go wrong is when you are rejected. There’s likely no more painful experience than to put yourself out there in some way, and for your outstretched hand to be slapped away and your gesture thrown back into your face. Rejection can raise all sorts of powerful feelings, and cause damage.

However, rejection doesn’t have to break you. You can bounce back from it and use it to propel you forward. We all must face rejection at some point in our lives, and it’s possible to handle it well in your professional, personal, and romantic life.

The hurt of rejection

We are deeply social beings, and rejection hurts because it affects our need for belonging and acceptance by others. Even if what is being rejected is only an idea we’ve come up with, it can feel like the entirety of our being has been turned down. When you get rejected, you can experience a swathe of emotions, including denial, anger, and depression. It can feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster.

Since rejection comes to us all in various areas of life, from being rejected by a love interest, getting turned down for a job offer, not getting a promotion at work, or not getting into your college or team of choice, being able to handle it well is an important life skill.

How to handle rejection well

The main way to learn how to handle rejection is to face it head-on and not try to bluff your way through it. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, whether they are anger, disappointment, regret, or sadness. As a Christian, rejection can be a challenging but transformative experience, and some tips can help you navigate rejection well. Some of the things to keep in mind include the following:

Trust in God’s providence

There is nothing in this life that is outside of God’s control, and that includes negative experiences. Despite hardship, God is in control, and what you’re going through is not a surprise to Him, nor will it overturn His goodness (Genesis 50:20; Psalm 138:7-8; Romans 8:28). Take time to recall times when God has been faithful and provided for you in the past (Psalm 103:1-5).

Root your identity in Christ

Rejection has a way of hitting at your sense of self-worth. Extend compassion to yourself and remind yourself that your worth and identity come from being a beloved child of God, not from external validation from others (1 John 3:1). Take time to meditate on Scripture to remind yourself of who God says you are; let that define you, and not your present circumstances.

Focus on God’s goodness and purposes

Going through hardship doesn’t mean God doesn’t see or care about you. God can turn the worst situation around and use it to mature you and make you the person He desires you to be. Trust that God has a plan to prosper you, not harm you and that you’ll emerge more mature and deeply rooted in Him if you remain steadfast (Jeremiah 29:11; James 1:2-4; Romans 5:1-5).

Pray and seek comfort

There are many prayers of lament in Scripture, and these can give you the language you need to express the anguish of your soul as you process the rejection. Cry out to God in prayer and find comfort in His presence (Psalm 34:17-18; Lamentations 3:19-24).

Seek support from the Christian community

Rejection can isolate you as you withdraw into yourself. Resist this inclination and choose to surround yourself with encouraging believers who can offer wise and loving support and guidance (Hebrews 10:24-25). Sometimes we need helpful reminders of our strengths and gifts, and the community of believers can do that.

Embrace rejection as a growth opportunity

You can reframe your experience of rejection to view it as a chance to learn, grow, and become more like Christ (James 1:2-4). Rejection can occur due to poor communication, unreasonable expectations, being hasty, and other reasons. It takes humility to look at yourself and do the hard work of changing things that need changing in you.

Remember God’s promises and character

In the moment of experiencing rejection, praising and worshipping God may be your last inclination. That’s okay. Lift your eyes to God and direct your grumbles and pain to Him amid rejection. As you do so, remind yourself about who God is, and how He has dealt faithfully with you before (Psalm 13:1-6).

Practice forgiveness

Rejection can stir anger and bitterness toward others, even if their rejection was justified. Release any bitterness or resentment toward whoever rejected you and choose to forgive them as the Lord forgave you (Matthew 6:14-15; Ephesians 4:31-32).

Rejection doesn’t define who you are, your worth, or your potential. You can process the experience and emerge stronger from it. Experiences such as rejection test our resilience, and we can become more compassionate and humble people for it.

Finding support through Christian counseling

If you’ve been rejected and are struggling with how to handle rejection, you can always reach out to a counselor in Vancouver, Washington who can help you work through the complex emotions it brought up, and learn healthy coping skills. The counselors at Vancouver Christian Counseling in Washington are here to help. Give our office a call today.