Who is Couples Therapy For? Making the Most of Couples Counseling in Vancouver, WA

One of the most enduring types of stories is that of two people finding one another, against incredible odds, and finding someone who resonates with their soul. Finding someone who loves you and with whom you can build a life is a gift. This precious gift needs nurturing, as there are different ways a relationship can lose its way. Couples therapy is a tool to help refresh the relationship and keep it pointed to its true North.

Questions can be asked about who couples therapy is for, what benefits accrue from making use of it, and whether it’s worthwhile for you and your beloved to find a couples therapist. This article will hopefully answer these questions, empowering you to make the best decision for the health and flourishing of your relationship.

What is couples therapy?

It would help to start by asking what couples therapy is. Couples therapy is also known by other names, including relationship therapy and couples counseling. Despite the differences in the name, the aim is the same. Couples therapy is a type of talk therapy that’s aimed at helping couples to strengthen their existing relationship, regardless of whether they are experiences challenges or difficulties in their relationship.

When you go to therapy, you and your partner sit with a therapist who has received training and been licensed to help couples nurture their relationship. Most therapists and counselors will have obtained a master’s degree in psychology, counseling, or a related field, and they then have to undergo many hours of training and certification assessments before they can practice.

You and your partner choose who you want to work with, and that’s important because it’s only within an environment of trust that you can open up your lives, and share your fears, concerns, and hopes with someone who’s essentially a total stranger. The process of choosing a therapist can take time, but it’s time well spent.

When it works well and as it should, therapy works as a supportive and non-judgmental space where you can share your thoughts freely, and you can work with a professional to unpack issues and concerns, improve communication in your relationship, and strengthen your connection as a couple.

Issues Addressed in Couples Therapy

One of the reasons couples don’t make their way to couples therapy is they are unsure of what happens in couples therapy, as well as the kinds of issues that are addressed in therapy. Sometimes, a false perception can exist that when it comes to Christian couples therapy, some issues or topics might be off-limits or strange. Rest assured, other couples struggle with the same or similar issues, and your therapist is trained to handle a wide variety of concerns.

Many common issues are addressed in couples therapy. If you can’t identify your particular concern in this list, don’t take that to mean the issue doesn’t have a ready outlet or space where it can be addressed. There’s simply a limit in the space allowable for a list, as well as in the imagination of the writer, and not a hard cap on what couples therapy can help you with.

Some of the common issues that often come up in couples therapy include trust issues. Sometimes, a relationship needs a reset, and trust needs to be rebuilt if there’s been dishonesty, infidelity, or any other breaches of trust that affect the relationship. Without trust, it’s hard for a couple to be vulnerable to each other, and it’s a vital component of a healthy relationship.

Another common issue is communication problems. A couple may need to work on their ability to express themselves in a healthy way. Some people struggle with naming their feelings, or with taking the next step and communicating those feelings without sounding like they are accusing, blaming, or shaming their partner. It also takes skill to know how to listen well, as well as resolve conflict in a healthy way.

Third, nurturing intimacy and a meaningful emotional connection is another common concern. Therapy can help with strengthening a couple’s emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, as well as their emotional connection. Couples can learn how best to communicate and be responsive to each other’s needs, and the various ways to foster connection, like being intentional with spending time and being vulnerable.

Another common area that couples therapy addresses is conflict and arguments. No relationship is without conflict. Conflict can help a couple understand each other’s needs and perspectives much better, and they can learn how to love one another better if they resolve conflict successfully. Through therapy, a couple can learn healthy conflict-resolution skills and best practices in managing disagreements.

Most couples will also specifically want to address financial stress and disagreements. Money is one of the main reasons why people get divorced, and couples therapy can help with managing financial stress, providing practical tips for creating and sticking to a workable budget, and navigating financial decisions together.

Couples therapy also helps couples with parenting and co-parenting challenges. When children enter the picture, it can bring differences in opinions and philosophies of life to the surface in ways it might not have before. Parents can clash over how best to raise their children, and when the family is a blended one or the parents are separated, it can come with unique dynamics, challenges, and conflicts.

Lastly, couples therapy can also help a couple to navigate differences in their outlook, whether it’s cultural, philosophical, political, or religious differences. A couple can be opposites, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have a successful relationship, showing mutual respect and consideration despite those differences. Through therapy, the couple can find ways to navigate the differences that may be impacting their relationship.

It is important to recall that this short list is in no way exhaustive. If you and your spouse or partner are going through something that’s affecting your relationship, err on the side of reaching out to a couples therapist and asking them whether they can help. You’ll quite likely receive either an answer in the affirmative or a helpful referral to a therapist who can help you.

Who is couples therapy for?

There are some myths out there that can prevent couples from getting the support they need for their relationship. Couples miss out on getting the help they need because of these myths, or because of other factors that inform their reluctance. Couples therapy is for all couples, and it is beneficial for couples at any stage of their relationship, from dating to a seasoned marriage.

Couples therapy is also for diverse relationships, including couples who are themselves diverse, whether culturally or ethnically. If you seek out Christian couples therapy, it’s important to note that part of your therapist’s approach may be to weave in Christian wisdom without necessarily imposing it on you.

How to Make the Most of Couples Therapy

Should you and your beloved choose to take the step toward couples therapy, there are ways you can position yourselves to get the most out of it. For one thing, consider the timing of when to seek therapy. There isn’t a time that’s too late to seek therapy, but the earlier you seek help, when you see early warning signs such as resentment or emotional disconnection, the better.

You can also proactively seek therapy when you’re undergoing major life changes like getting married, having children, or experiencing loss. You can also seek help those times of crisis or emergency, such as when there’s abuse or infidelity. Therapy can be a way to simply strengthen your relationship and keep developing the kinds of tools that help a relationship flourish, like communication and conflict resolution.

Before you start therapy, you and your spouse can identify your goals for therapy. This can help you zero in on your “why” for therapy, and it can also help you streamline your search for the right therapist. When you do find the right therapist, commit to your sessions to get the most out of it. It can take time and patience to find a therapist you’re both comfortable with, but it’s well worth it.

In your sessions, be open and honest with your therapist and spouse. Make the effort to listen well to get your spouse’s perspective on things. Instead of blaming or criticizing, make your focus on expressing your own needs and feelings. Another key component of therapy is being accountable and taking responsibility for your actions and the role you played in the conflict you had.

Outside of your sessions, you can make the most of therapy by applying the strategies and skills your therapist teaches you. Take the opportunity to communicate with one another through regular check-ins. In other words, keep the lines of communication open, sharing your thoughts, hopes, and concerns. Take time to show appreciation and affection toward one another; this strengthens bonds and nurtures connections.

You can also make use of the time between sessions to work on issues raised during the sessions. If you struggle with anxiety or substance abuse, take the necessary steps to get help and implement strategies to help mitigate the impact of these issues in your life personally and as a couple.

Many couples choose to make a date night after their couples appointment. This allows them to practice their newly acquired skills while they are still fresh on their minds, often before returning to parenting responsibilities.

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Therapy can be part of a lifelong journey. On that journey, take the time to celebrate your successes, continue to communicate with one another, and be patient with one another and resilient as you pursue change. Couples therapy in Vancouver, Washington, can help bring about lasting change, building a stronger, healthier relationship. Contact us at Vancouver Christian Counseling in Washington today to learn more.