How to Regulate Emotions for Self-Improvement from a Christian Perspective

Looking to grow in areas of self-improvement from a Christian perspective? If so, this article is for you.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

The Bible tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We know that God knit us together and knows each of us by name. God knows the very number of hairs on our heads, what makes us tick, and what we’re feeling. God has a unique plan for every one of us.

We are made in God’s image and made to reflect God’s love and truth to the world around us. Our world is desperate to know God and to see people who follow God and live authentic lives.

Time and time again Christians put on a false face to the world. As if when we accepted Jesus, we no longer were allowed to feel any negative emotions. Christians often pursue personal development and self-improvement privately. The image Christians often project is that if we believe that because we’re made in God’s image, we have to be perfect.

When Christians struggle with negative emotions, mental health struggles, or anxiety, or depression, it is often done silently and alone. This is shifting in the last few years. We can certainly hope it will continue to shift. Because Jesus certainly wasn’t always happy and cheerful. He didn’t walk around all the time like things were perfect and his life was perfect.

God gets angry, sad, disappointed, and hurt, too. We are made in God’s image. God wired us to feel a huge range of emotions. Did you know every people group around the world identifies with joy, sadness, disgust, anger, and fear?

Almost every group also identifies with trust, anticipation, and surprise. Then there are hundreds of additional emotions that have been identified by different cultures within these!

These emotions were not created with human hands, reason, or skill. They’re not some modern marvel of science or technology. This is who we are wired to be by our Creator. The God who loves us wholeheartedly and unconditionally gave us the ability to feel emotions. What a beautiful gift!

We will spend our whole lives working on self-improvement to learn how to process and regulate these emotions. This is where our humanity comes into play. Our emotions can sometimes lead us to sin. Sometimes we can even get stuck in sin patterns trying to numb our emotions or escape them.

If you feel that you’re struggling with identifying, understanding, or processing your emotions, please reach out. Or if you’re stuck in a sin pattern connected to emotion or find yourself engaging in behaviors to numb emotion, we are here to help with that too.

God made us to be in community with one another and to help each other out. Dealing with, and processing emotions can be confusing and difficult work. It’s so helpful to have someone to talk to and learn from in this process.

Christian Counseling for Self-Improvement

We can help you with your self-improvement journey towards better emotional intelligence and regulation. Our counselors work on teaching skills to identify and process emotions are also a part of counseling. Individuals, groups, couples, and families can all benefit from additional support in this area.

Counselors can also help with folks who struggle to manage and control their anger- which is a much more common struggle than you might think. James 1:19-20 tells us- “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Yet it can be incredibly difficult to control our anger and many of us sin in our anger. Counseling can help give you the tools to better manage your anger.

Below are a few Bible verses about emotions. Hopefully, these will help remind you that God created your emotions just as they are intended to be, that God gave you a way to feel and process the world and your experiences like this is such a sweet gift.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 is one of the best-known verses to remind us there is a time for every emotion we experience and every season of life. Our emotions are a part of our stories and God’s plan for our lives.

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Examples of Jesus Showing Emotion

But he would withdraw to deserted places and pray. – Luke 5:16

Jesus got exhausted and needed to recharge. Read the entire passage for the full context.

The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves, “Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” The Jews then said to him, “What sign can you show us for doing this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” The Jews then said, “This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?” But he was speaking of the temple of his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken. – John 2:13-22

Jesus got angry- yet he did not sin in his anger. Here we also see him show disgust at what was happening in the temple.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to weep.” – John 11:33-35

Jesus felt sadness, empathy, and grief.

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. – John 15:10-11

Jesus experienced joy and wanted us to experience it too!

These are just a handful of examples, you’ll see Jesus experience emotion time, and time again in the Scriptures. He took on flesh and dwelt among us and that included knowing what it was like to have feelings.